10 Things an INTJ Could Learn About Romance
INTJ / ISTJ. The Scientist and the Duty Fulfiller. An Introverted Relationship. Introverted relationships tend to be quiet, with far more going on under the. Even when an INTJ finds that special person, they can still be an enigma. Here's what real INTJs want you to know about being in a relationship. We know that we're pretty darned outstanding as relationship material, Here are some tips to help the socially-challenged INTJ navigate the.
Is there a way around this conundrum? Here are some tips to help the socially-challenged INTJ navigate the turbulent waters of romance, whatever the status of their relationship.
Words matter INTJs inhabit a world that resembles Downton Abbey - cold on the outside, but there's always something spicy percolating beneath. Problem is, we have not yet developed any sort of vocabulary to describe what's going on in our hearts.
It's not cheap for us to love someone, and we're often fearful of attaching value to mere "feelings" in case they turn out to be fleeting. Most INTJs won't admit to caring for someone until they are completely sure it's genuine. By then our feelings are so obvious to us that we don't think they're worth mentioning.
This lack of vocabulary can make other people feel incredibly insecure. Affectionate words go a long way for many, especially Feelers, who need verbal encouragement to feel good about the relationship. So grit your teeth and whisper those sweet nothings if you want your partner to know that you care.
Actions speak louder than words The old adage, "show, don't tell," is crucial to nailing romance. You might think that chivalry is demeaning, but your date or partner requires action that comes from the heart. You don't have to drape your cloak over a puddle, but a little hand-holding, cheek kissing or breakfast in bed can make all the difference.
Some people actually celebrate Valentine's Day INTJs are the least likely of all the personality types to remember sentimental events such as birthdays and holidays because we don't see the point of these traditions. As we are repeatedly shot down, we come to recognize that celebrations are, in fact, relevant to the rest of the world.
So for goodness sake, remember your anniversary. And book a table on Valentine's Day. Game plans only work when you're playing chess INTJs notoriously approach dating the way they approach most situations - with a game plan.
Rather than falling head over heels for the nearest warm body, we construct a well-defined image of our ideal partner, break the dating process down into a series of actionable milestones, then proceed to execute the plan with laser-sharp focus. Strategy in place, we're ready to woo. Shockingly, other people may not fall in line with this system. Partners and dates want to know they are attractive, respected and loved for who they are without all the wrangling, controlling and mind games.
Painful as it is, you've got to play with the other person, not manipulate them like pawns on a chessboard. A date is not an interview INTJs famously require a mate of the mind - someone clever, preferably genius, and independent enough to stand up to the INTJ's formidable intellect.
Most INTJs will figure out very quickly whether someone makes the grade. If not, the INTJ will waste no time on further courtship.
We are through with the interloper. We will not look back. To make a fair assessment, an INTJ typically will bombard their date with the "big" questions.
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And by big, I mean the sort of complex, probing, no-stone-left-unturned questions you get asked at an interview. We think we are nailing down our date's personality and suitability this way.
In fact, we're killing the buzz 90 percent of the time. Ask your date what kind of music they like movies, books, food.
Everyone has an opinion on these subjects. Your date won't feel stressed talking about their favorite meal. If your date is a poor conversationalist or displays terribly bad taste, cut your losses. But if the conversation naturally veers off at a tangent and throws up all sorts of delicious morsels, then you've probably struck gold.
And you didn't even ask your date about their life goals.
Sometimes, you've just got to go for it INTJ's score high on the Judging scale, which means they like to have things decided. However, this only occurs when we've made up our minds. Because both enjoy the silence so much, they may take communication for granted and not share their feelings with each other often enough. May lack a support network if both do not belong to a community because of their lack of desire to socialize.
Sensing-Intuition Joys Sensors enjoys the insightful and brilliant Intuitive and seeing things from a big picture, strategic perspective relative to theirs.
Sensors are also likely fascinated by the outlandish imagination of the Intuitive; with big dreams and visions. Intuitives will appreciate the Sensors attention to detail in everyday living; Sensors bring Intuitives down to earth to common sense.
While not true for all Sensors, Sensors dress themselves and groom themselves relatively well; this is something that Intuitives will appreciate and admire.
Struggles May find it a challenge to have a common topic for discussion; Sensors enjoy talking about everyday happenings while Intuitive enjoys ideas, trends and theories. These differences in interest may mean the couple may find little or no chemistry.
Sensors are more past and present focused while Intuitives tend to be more future oriented; This means that Sensors will take references from past experiences and present facts to make a decision, while Intuitives are more likely to take into account future possibilities when doing so.
Sensors may find Intuitives' lack of interest in everyday living and managing household tasks to be frustrating; they don't understand why Intuitives are always 'in their heads', pondering about the deep things of life while they are the ones taking care of the duties of the household. Thinking-Thinking Joys Both parties enjoy the straightforward and frank communication styles; no emotional issues is brought into discussion and decision making.
As such, both find it easy to communicate with each other; they won't have to try to cushion their message or filter it; but can afford to be direct without being afraid of offending the other party. In decision-making, both parties use a logical, objective analysis to access pros and cons.
This same mode of decision-making will mean that they are less likely to come into conflict. Struggles While both are logical with one another, sometimes some romance and affection can liven up the relationship; both parties may have issues showing it.
Because both use a logical and objective process in decision-making, they may have a blind spot in considering their personal values. Under stress, they may have an issue controlling their own emotions; sometimes this can lead to highly intense fights that are destructive. Judging-Judging Joys Because both value organization, they are likely to have a neat and tidy household with clear rules and standards, something which both parties will prefer.