The New Way to Look for Love Online – Living Like You – A Multiple Sclerosis Site
Searching online for your soul mate—or simply your next date—is the new norm. And now to the big one: when do you disclose you have MS?!? Well, most people don't throw their entire life story out there on a dating website – it's. Dating with MS can be frustrating, disappointing and painful but it can To my mind, meeting a man with MS seemed similar to meeting someone who dating site in addition to my memberships on the regular sites Match. How dating websites might help someone woth multiple sclerosis find a new partner.
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In chatting and getting to know people I found the right times and the right people to disclose that information to. And I only did if I felt it was relevant to the situation. In my opinion, disclosing your health status to someone you are dating should be like with an employer. And guess what else I found out?
What the Dating is Scene is like when you're living with MS
Once I understood that I felt less stressed about bringing up that part of my life. In the end, I did find a match, and despite my worry, the topic of my health ended up being a complete non-event; he was very understanding and supportive. Maybe I was lucky, or maybe my selection process had made this a positive experience.
We are approaching one year together, and I am always amazed at how he takes my MS in his stride. He recognizes the strength it takes to achieve what I do every day. And I provide him with support through my own strengths. For me, relationships and finding love after being diagnosed with a chronic illness was more about me accepting my condition than finding a partner who did. When I was diagnosed, I would have described my life as perfect.
For a long time, I would just focus on getting that life back. That was not only unhealthy for me, but it was also unrealistic. I had to reach a point of acceptance of my diagnosis and had to learn to master the ebbs and flows of my condition. Before that realization, I was emotionally unstable, which made my relationships, both romantic and amicable, very rocky. It was the biggest challenge of all and the thing that did me in that day.
His physical affectations made it very difficult for me to understand his speech. And though I understood most of what he said, I had to ask him to repeat himself a few times, which he did with great patience and clarity. His disabilities affected him in various other ways as well; several times I caught myself thinking if only. If only his disabilities were milder.
I heard myself loud and clear. I had turned the tables on myself with a vengeance. I had become a person who rejected a potential romantic partner because of his disabilities. And I felt kind of shitty about it. The irony of this situation is not lost on me.
He wants to be known, not hide himself away. If he had gone through life as an able man he would not be the person he is. And yet I found myself wishing he were just that—an able-bodied man, but with the character that was shaped by the trials and tribulations of living with a disability. Our dating experiences—frustrating, disappointing and painful as they might be—do, I think, serve a positive purpose. If we are introspective and brutally honest with ourselves then we use each encounter to clarify our own preferences for a partner.
Much of it is necessary. This alone makes it very difficult to meet people.
And so my loneliness is largely self-inflicted. I can live with that.
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