Dating a Married Man ? Read this To Know the Complications
Dating Tips for Women, Relationship Advice, Relationship Problems The hazy silhouette of a woman in love with a married man clinging to. Advice from the dating wreckage: Help, I've got a crush on a married This may sound overly harsh, but the fact of the matter is – if this guy can. Dating a Married Man - yearly searches on Google. It's for the woman looking for answers to a problem that will affect so much more.
The truth is, a guy will string you along as long as you will let him. It's up to you to look out for yourself and avoid being taken advantage of.
I am not being judgmental here. But if your guy plays with you for free and then goes home to his wife and plays the husband while you sulk, you are only torturing yourself and being a hooker who works for free. To be wise and economical, it's time to ask your "boyfriend" to help you out financially. This way when the time comes that you are not together anymore, at least he helped you pay your mortgage.
Before you go off on a rant about how expecting or wanting money or gifts is prostitution and that it's all about the love here, remember that dating a married man is not exactly moral either.
The difference here is at least you are not being raked over the coals as you would be if you simply smile and put out like a good girl.
You must be realistic here and accept that what you are involved in is risky in many ways. One of the things that often destroys women in your situation is the shock of suddenly being dumped because of something that is happening in his marriage, or because of stress that you are causing him at home.
Believe me, when this happens, having that extra money invested will lead you to think, "At least I got something out of it. I know you are probably thinking that you are in a unique and different situation because he truly loves you, and you love him, etc.
The Truth About Dating A Married Man - David Wygant
But that is what they all say, and when stress and reality get involved, people's emotions and decisions tend to be all the same after all. But that is what they all say. Her man told her that he loved her but because he had two children with his wife, he could not leave her. He also said that he no longer slept with his wife, but that they had an understanding.
Darleen would tell me that if he could leave his wife for her, he certainly would and that her man often showed great concern for whether or not she was cheating on him. Love Is Blind Yes, love is blind. I found myself angry quite often as I told Darleen that if he loved her he would divorce his wife rather than play this game with her.
The Reality of Dating a Married Man
Poor Darleen had excuses for everything. She got on her high horse by stating that if a man has kids he can't leave. I happen to have known several highly moral men who divorced their wives even though they had two or three kids.
After the divorce, they took care of their children at least half of the time. The truth is, a man will change his life around and do anything to win you over if he truly does love you. If he is content to have sex with you and makes no move to make a permanent life with you, then you must understand that he does not see you as being very important.
Or not important enough. If He Really Loved You. I know that your ego does not want to accept that fact but put the shoe on the other foot for a moment. If you were with a man who you were not having sex with and who you did not love, and you had this man on the side who you truly did love and had a great connection with, would you be content to go home to the man you did not really want, knowing that your lover is single and could easily find someone who is available for him full time?
The thought of it probably sends you into a cold sweat. Men are concerned with having their woman all to themselves. It is actually proof of disinterest on his part if he does not care who you are with and what you are doing. If he sees you as a valuable woman, he will know that other men are after you, and he will want to make sure that he gets you before someone else does.
Making Excuses Darleen made excuses for her married lover for years, and she believed him when he told her that he could not stand his wife and never touched her.
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After listening to her talk about their intimate discussions, I figured out that her lover had caught on to the fact that Darleen seemed to accept him going home to his wife as long as he and his wife were no longer sleeping together.
Things got a little tricky when his wife suddenly became pregnant. Darleen worked in a building across the street from her lover's wife and was able to spy on her every so often. Darleen's guy informed her that his wife had been bugging him for years to have another baby, and he finally gave in.
Not that they were sexual or anything—he explained that in order to touch her, he had to get drunk. The wife had marked the calendar for the day when she was fertile, and they did it just that once in order to have a baby.
The lies can be clever and convincing, but I always say, "Assume that the man is lying until you are engaged, married, or something close. If he seems content to let the relationship go on for years as it is, you should see that he is using you for some fun on the side. So, by all means, date other men. Remember, it's not cheating on your part because he is married.
What Cheating Means I hear that one a lot. The married guy says, "Don't cheat on me. Otherwise, you will find yourself rejected by your married lover and you will be left alone. Date on the side to keep yourself from becoming too attached to this man and to keep reality in perspective.
When Darleen finally listened to me and began to see other men, her viewpoint changed dramatically. Her married lover began to only see her for sex. They were meeting in hotels and were meeting in his car after work. Darleen was not even getting a meal out of it. Sometimes they would go to a bar and have a few drinks and then go to his car. What a waste of her time. He can drag out your relationship for years. You might miss out on opportunities to meet the love of your life and get married.
You could end up putting your whole life on hold for this man. You will be the one suffering and waiting.
The Reality of Dating a Married Man
Unless he divorces his wife right away, you just don't know how long you will wait. Trust Factors You are dating a married man, after all. This means he has been dishonest with his wife. How can you trust him when it comes to your relationship? What kind of person takes up with someone else while still married? He might tell you he and his wife are both OK with the situation, but you just don't know.
He might say his wife is a horrible person and try to put her down, but again, you don't know. It's not a good sign that he'll cheat on someone instead of being honest and working on the relationship.
If his wife really is as horrible as he says she is, that calls into question his taste and judgment in women. If he has a pattern of not choosing the right woman for him, that doesn't bode well for your relationship. Guilt Issues You don't know the nature of his relationship with his wife. However, when you put yourself in his wife's shoes, you see things differently.
How would you feel if that happened to you? But in this situation, you are the other woman and you are coming between him and his family.